Stonados - 2013

It's a b-movie, that's pretty obvious from the title. No sane person could ever watch a film called Stonados and expect award-winning material. That's what sort of saves it. It doesn't pretend to be what it's not. Anyway, it's obviously nothing "good", but sometimes b-movies can be what one wants, for a movie night with lots of friends for example.
The good thing about this one is that it starts directly with the tornado and it never slows down too much. A rather peculiar detail about Stonados in that there is no blood at all, not even a finger cut, no red whatsoever, and no gruesome deaths either. I mean, lots of people die her, sure, more than a thousand, but we only see people hit and people falling. A lot of falling.
I could almost hear the 'action' before people started throwing themselves everywhere.
The characters are not many, as it always happens in this kind of movies. There's our hero Joe (Paul Johansson) , a single dad, widow, and his two kids: Megan (Jessica McLeod) and her younger brother Jackson (Dylan Schmid). I liked the kids enough, and Joe was exactly what you could expect from this kind of movies. There were also his friend Lee (the local weather-man who invents the title)and Joe's sister, cop Mandy. Personally I could have done without them and their boring romance.
Lee only served for one scene: when a stupid woman instead of running away comes up to him accusing him of being a bad weather-man before being hit and smashed into a wall.
So, the story is: tornadoes come out of nowhere on the water, and throw frozen stones everywhere.
I liked a scene when Megan's friend Julie (Grace Wolf or Vukovic, not clear to me) and a boy she just met hide behind a little table, a plastic one maybe. She wants to run away, and he doesn't agree, he's scared and he feels safe behind that silly little object. She runs away alone and he's hit.
I was very sorry when later on Julie gets killed too :-( come on, why?!?
There's also the man at the lighthouse played by William B. Davis, the unforgettable smoking-man from X-files, only here he actually has a name, Ben, and of course he gets killed too. Only our heroes survive. At the end Joe puts a bomb in a car and lets it move along without him until the wind catches it and takes it up in the tornado. The plan is: the explosion will irradiate heat enough to warm the sky and put the ozone level back as it was, or something like that, and magically, in like a second, the sky is again blue and quiet.
Of course there were many 'mistakes', many things that didn't quite add up, but honestly who cares too much about that in a b-movie.
Why do some people fly away and others don't? The tornados seemed all as strong and as near as the first one that took away the poor, nice guide girl.
How come some stones explode and others don't? Who cares, the funniest mistake was that at the end, while the heroes seemed to be battling against the wind, the trees seemed painted, not a leaf moving :-p


ITA l'urlo della terra