Labyrinth - 1986

Well… it’s worth a look only if you’re a David Bowie’s fan, otherwise let’s ignore it. The story wouldn’t be bad, per se, but I don’t like this movie at all. The leading actress’ acting is non-existent. Very pretty indeed, but at least in this movie she was completely expression-less. Also, the protagonist’s attitude is insufferable. Ok, she’s a teenager so the constant whining of “it’s not fair!” may be understandable because of that, but still she was very annoying.

Also the “creatures” are horrible, on the verge of disgusting, and not because it was only 1986 but because they’re just awful. Some of them are made with make up or as puppets to make them look ugly, and that’s ok, what with them being goblins - although at this point how in the world could their king look like David Bowie?

But those red, firey things were really ugly, I hated that whole piece.

The plot:

Sarah is 16 and spends her time with her dog and reciting the book “the Labyrinth”. She runs home because she’s very very late and she’s supposed to babysit her baby brother Toby. Sarah quarrels with her stepmother and also her father, she’s not nice at all, but I get it, she’s a 16yo prat who does not like her stepmother, thinks her father doesn’t care about her, and resents her baby brother’s own existence and constant crying (babies cry, yes, but not for fun, if they cry there is usually something that makes them uncomfortable, be it hunger, filth, loneliness or whatnot). To the point that she wishes for the goblins to take him away (I mean, the adults gave him her precious teddy bear Lancelot, how could they? …  :-/  )

— here’s the funniest moment, when the goblins listen to her waiting for her to say the right words and are quite frustrated when she doesn’t appear to know them because it’s quite simple, something like that she ‘wish the goblins would take him away right now’ .

When she can’t hear any more crying, she slowly walks back to him (why slowly? go to him!) but he’s gone, and Jareth the Goblin King appears to tell her that he took the baby like she wanted, but she already regretted her wish and wants him back. Jareth gives her a few hours to solve the Labyrinth and get to the castle to save him, otherwise he will be turned into a goblin.

He shows her the labyrinth and she starts her adventure. She meets Hoggle and hopes he can help her but he has orders from the king not to do that. Although he soon melts when she calls him her friend.

She keeps complaining all the time, always hoping that someone will just hand her the solution. She was unknowingly going the right way but she was annoyed of only going straight forward and asked a talking worm for help, and it sends her the wrong way. To be fair, he didn’t know because she simply complained that there were no other routes and the worm showed her that there were, indeed.

She talks to a “wise man” with a talking animal-hat - both not helpful at all - is reunited with Hoggle, helps a giant beast, Ludo, who was being hurt by goblins, then alone again she escapes a group of firey creatures who can play with their heads as if they were balls, and want to play with her head too. Hoggle helps Sarah and they end up in the ‘Bog of eternal Stench’, Jareth’s threat to Hoggle in case he helps the girl, but they get out of there with Ludo by convincing the guard to let them pass. The fox terrier Sir Didimus joins them with his dog that he mounts like a horse. They get hungry and Hoggle gives Sarah the peach that Jareth gave him, ordering him to give it to her. Hoggle didn’t want to, but he’s afraid of Jareth.

Sarah falls asleep and forgets about her quest, but there is something nagging at her and then she remembers and reunites with the others. Hoggle is sorry to have betrayed her but they all accept him back amongst them. 

Jareth sends goblins at them but Ludo can summon rocks to fight them back. Sarah enters the castle and insists she must go alone. 

—There’s a cool place that looks like Escher’s stairs where she tries to get to Toby. 

Face to face with Jareth she recites once again the lines from her book The Labyrinth, but can’t remember the last line. He tries to offer her her dreams, when she remembers and tells him You have no power over me!   … not that difficult to remember, was it?

At this point Jareth has no more power over her and she is returned home with Toby. 

Finally realising that he’s only a baby, and her baby brother at that, Sarah gives him her teddy bear.

Alone in her room, she sees the creatures from the labyrinth in her mirror, and admits that sometimes she needs them, and all of a sudden all the creatures she met are in her room partying with her - even the firey things.