Batman returns - 1991

I've always said I love it, that it's my favourite one, but that's not accurate. I love half of it a lot, and I barely stand the other half. I'm probably alone in this, I know, but I don't like the whole penguin-part. I know for some people that's the funniest part, but I find it boring; most of all I don't like him eating that guy's nose off, although his speech was a bit touching, yes, and still untrue, it was not just a matter of appearance, we saw when, just a baby in the cage, he caught that poor cat and God knows what he did to it... eat it , maybe. Yeuch. By the way, he said "I was their number one son and they treated me like number 2"... as if that would be ok, like 'you threw your first born child in the river? That's terrible! Oh , it was your second born child? Well then I suppose it's ok..." that's stupid. Anyway.
I like the Batman vs Catwoman/Bruce with Selina part, that I love. I always liked Michael Keaton, and Michelle Pfeiffer is always a vision, so beautiful and great, she has such an enchanting smile that I'm sure her beauty will never resent the years. Never. I hope she'll never fall victim of this plastic-surgery mania, doing something to that smile would be a crime. There are many beautiful women in the movie industry, but none of them has that smile.
The beginning was cool, with the birth of a baby that makes the nurse run screaming :-p The baby that thirty-three years ago was thrown in the river (but inside the cradle, well protected, supposedly adopted by the underground penguin colony..) is now a man (sort of) with a thirst of vendetta. Cool that for a while we only see his shadow :-)
Max Shreck is a very rich business man, and I'd like to say "but he's not an honest one": problem is, nowadays Bruce Wayne seems to be the exception, not Max. His secretary/assistant Selina Kyle is shy, insecure and yes, as she says herself, a bit pathetic, and I'd add silly to the list: she had to pull the files on a certain business proposal, and what did she do? She opened protected files! What was she thinking? Even more stupid, she told Max all about it! She told him she guessed his password (the name of his dead chihuahua, should I cry or laugh?) and she also told him everything she read of it, how he's secretely planning something very different from what he told the mayor.. poor naive girl couldn't stop her mouth, and Max threw her off the building. She died and all the cats went to her, licking her and biting her, and she came back as catwoman.... well, she really loved cats, but now she destroys all her pretty things, and sews herself a black suit. I love her catwoman outfit with all the stitches so visible :-) it's great.
At her first night appearance she did save a girl, but was not too nice to her, because she saw in her what she hated of her old self, that helplessness; now she wants things to change: "I'm catwoman, hear me roar".
At the Max-Bruce meeting it didn't go well because Bruce is not stupid and won't agree to his plans, and Max is all: "if my assistant was here, she'd have already escorted you out" and surprise, here she is! : "anywhere he wants, preferably some nightspot grotto, or secluded hideaway" I understand you girl, I like this Bruce too :-)
Max is shocked and repeats only -Selina...Selina..Selina; -That's my name Maximilian, don't wear it out or I'll make you buy me a new one :-) nice :-) Remembering when Batman saved her, Bruce says "we've met" but then he tries to make it right "sorry I mistook me for somebody else" :lol:
I love every moment they're together: when Bruce and Selina walk and talk about the papers, and he's angry that they wrote 'Batman blows it' while she's angry that they wrote that Catwoman weighs 140 pounds! How dare they! Then when they had their first date at his house: he explains why he is single: "girlfriend? Had one, didn't work. There are two truths, she had trouble reconciling them because I had trouble reconciling them" so it looks like Vicki left him. I loved this, that they don't simply forget her, since we left him in a relationship and met him again single. I like their funny excuses to Alfred for leaving early.
A couple of things I didn't understand: why Batman says to the Ice Princess "don't move" ? I would have told her "come here", you know, take one step to safety, in his place, but of course in her place I would have done that without waiting for the instruction... second thing is: Catwoman tells him "you're the second man who killed me this week, but I've got seven lives left"... when did she die the second time? After fighting with Batman she fell inside a truck full of sand and said "saved by kitty litter"... does that count as a death, or maybe they cut something? She insists, at the end she says to Max "you killed me, the penguin killed me, batman killed me" she seems pretty sure about it. The third time yes, she fell from the penguin's flying umbrella, and that was not healthy.
I love when they dance at the party, which is when they realize each other's identity, when she quotes Batman's line "mistletoe can be deadly if you eat it" and he quotes Catwoman's reply "a kiss can be even deadlier if you mean it"- "does this mean we have to start fighting?" Oh Selina, is really that that you want??
I love the first time Batman meets Catwoman, when she goes "meow" and then BOOM all behind her :-) Cool! :-)
Max (Christopher Walken) did only one good thing towards the end, when he insisted to take his son Chip's place as Penguin's prisoner, specially considering that at the first attack when Chip stood in front of him saying "Dad save yourself" he did run away... (btw are there any men in real life called Chip? Grown-up men? It doesn't seem a man's name.. but then, I guess to an American it must sound different)
I like when Catwoman wants to kill Max and Batman tries to talk her out of it, taking away his mask, calling her by name, saying "Selina don't you see? We're the same"... but as much as she'd like to go live with him like in a fairytale, she says "I couldn't live with myself". Who knows, maybe if Max had not shot Batman he would have convinced her, but he couldn't. Max then shot her too, twice (and she counted : 4-5) and then twice again (6-7 all good girls go to heaven) before he was left with no bullets, so she kills him killing herself at the same time, but Bruce finds only his corpse, not hers, because her count got up to eight only, after all...
She's still out there, and I so wanted a third Batman movie, so sad they never made it. Now it's too late, I wanted Keaton and Pfeiffer again, with the two of them fighting together a new threat, maybe he could have given her a bullet-proof vest like the one he wears... sigh, I would have loved that :-) plus they were so beautiful and hot together :-)