It’s rather silly but it’s also fun and entertaining, the Red Riding Hood story told as a mystery...
It starts with an interesting voice saying that there’s more to the story we all know.. then we move to grandma’s cottage, when Red arrives and the wolf is in bed wearing a granny-mask, but she doesn’t fall for it and he reveals himself. She’s ready to defend herself and he’s ready to take her down, when granny hops out of the closet all tied up, and the hunter jumps through the window wielding an axe. The police arrive, and chief Grizzly wants to arrest them all when long-legs-frog Flippers arrive. The chief has a case of recipe-thieves that’s upsetting him, and he thinks his trail ends right here in granny’s cottage. Still, Flippers wants to hear their stories. Red (who is called so because of the hood she wears; Flippers “what about when you’re not wearing it?” “... I usually wear it”) is the first: she was making deliveries for her granny’s goodie shop, and on the road she saw many goodies shop closing for good because of the recipes-bandit, and she phoned her granny to see if she might know what to do about it. She didn’t, but Red was still concerned and thought she should bring granny her book of recipes for safekeeping (...why?). Even if her granny told her not to, when someone threw a stone into her house warning she’d be next, she took the book and rode to her granny. In the woods she met the wolf who wanted her goodies and the book, she sprayed him and ran away, and he shouted “I’ll get you and your little granny too”. She asked directions to a goat cursed by a witch to sing everything he says, and she finally reached granny’s cottage up the mountain and found the wolf who attacked her and then the woodsman burst in screaming “like a maniac”.
Next, Flippers hears it from the wolf:
it turns out Flippers remembers him, he’s a reporter, an investigative journalist apparently, and he thinks Red might be the goody bandit so he explains that he followed her and heard bits of her conversation with her bunny friend, but only the suspicious bits not the whole thing, so he followed her and questioned her. He’s the one who blows up the rollercoaster-mine after his squirrel friend decided to light up a whole bunch of dynamite ‘candles’. I liked that when he read the name Dynamite and said ‘it must be Italian’ it’s because he actually read it with the Italian pronunciation :-) When he finally reaches granny’s cottage, the wolf finds it empty and doesn’t even notice that there’s a tied-up granny in the closet. He disguises himself as granny to get Red to talk and get his answers.
Next up is the woodsman, who turns out to be an actor; he drives a schnitzel-on-a-stick truck, and while he was singing with the children his truck got robbed; the director called him saying he had to come back the next day and audition again, only better, so to go into the woods and practice, be a real woodsman! Find an axe and swirl it around! And so he did, he started chopping trees down :-( even a nice, very big tree that then fell down towards him so he started running downhill and fell through the window inside the house...
It’s now granny’s turn, and Red is surprised to find out that they don’t tell each other everything after all, and that granny has a closet full of sport-trophies, she likes to snowboard and sky jump and skateboard and surf... so when she told Red not to come it was because she wanted to go to the “extreme dream snow sports competition” . There were four bad people there who tried everything to get rid of her, but she got moves that not even Neo in Matrix dared and when they said they’d go after Red next she got worried. She’s the one who caused the avalanche to get rid of them, or at least slow them down, and after winning the competition she parachuted herself off and flew home. She entered by the chimney and got entangled in her own chute.
Red is sad her granny lied to her, and did all these things while at the same time demanding she stayed home safe, and so she walks out alone for a bit under the soundtrack ‘now Red is blue’.
Flippers makes a recap: the actor is guilty of cutting down the red trees but he points out someone robbed him first; maybe a competitor like granny? to which she replies: “I may lead a double life full of secrets and deception but that’s no reason to be suspicious”, or maybe they were all victims of a hungry wolf who says he simply followed the little girl... and now Red and the book are gone... and now Flippers says it may have been someone who was always present at anything that happened.. the bunny! Flippers sends the police after the bunny! Red tries to fight him but the bunny’s stronger and with the help of the four evil skiers they trap her. Granny, wolf and actor Kurt go after them and save Red and the police arrest all the baddies.
When it’s all over Mr Flippers asks Red, granny, Wolf and the squirrel if they want to work for him on undercover, impossible missions in far away places, for his “happily ever after agency”, and they agree..
ITA cappuccetto rosso e gli insoliti sospetti
Red-Anne Hathaway
Granny-Glenn Close
Woodsman-Jim Belushi
Wolf-Patrick Warburton
Flippers-David Ogden Stiers
Woolworth-Chazz Palminteri
Twitchy-Cory Edwards
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