Murder mystery - 2019

Not bad but not great either. It would be better if you were an Adam Sandler fan, which I am not. And I didn’t like his character at all, which is the main problem since he’s the protagonist.

I like Jennifer Aniston, though.

This is some kind of parody of mystery movies and books. 

Details:

Nick and Audrey are married, been for years, and their anniversary is approaching. She’s a hairdresser and complaints that he’s not romantic at all, that he used to make promises but never kept them, like their trip to Europe, so when they have a discussion at home and she brings it up, he lies and says he had already organised it as a surprise.

Problem is, Nick always lies. She thinks he’s a detective, that he got a promotion, but it’s not true.

On the plane, she wanders around to watch the first class, and meets Charles Cavendish, a very rich and handsome man. They talk for a while and he invites them to go with him on a yacht. Nick refuses at first but then agrees when he sees the bus they were supposed to use.

There are other people on the yacht, reunited there to celebrate billionaire Malcolm Quince marriage to a much younger girl, Suzi. She used to be engaged to Charles. There’s also actress Grace, Malcolm’s son Tobey, a colonel who saved Malcolm’s life years ago and his guard, a maharajah, and car pilot Juan Carlos.

The pilot doesn’t speak English at all, and the maharajah is the “yo” type, which is maybe supposed to be funny, I found it annoying.

Malcolm says that they are all parasite that wait for his money, so he prepares to sign a new will in front of them where he leaves everything to Suzi, but before he can the lights go out long enough for someone to kill Malcolm. Everyone suspects Tobey at first, but he’s found dead shortly after. 

French inspector Delacroix interrogates them all and suspects Nick and Audrey.

Audrey is a fan of mystery books, and up until this moment had fun trying to decipher the clues. Being suspects now, they kind of have to find out who actually did it.

The inspector knows that he lied and it’s a simple sergeant, who failed the detective test three times.

Cavendish provided accommodations for them, so at least they are not stranded on the street. That’s rather on Cavendish’s favour, I’d say.

Audrey suspects Suzi for no reason, just how Nick suspects Cavendish because he’s jealous of him. They get a message to go talk to Sergei, they go and hear a story about the Colonel and why he might have killed the old man. When the colonel saved Malcolm, he had a girlfriend, but when he came out of the coma, she was married to Malcolm. She died, and her child too.

Someone comes and kills Sergei and they escape through the window, see the colonel in his room flossing his teeth and they enter another room where the maharajah and Grace jump on the table while they are under it, but it seems he can’t… perform so they leave.

They can’t suspect the colonel at this point, and they see the tv news where their pictures are shown as murder suspects. Audrey finds out he’s not a detective and is quite upset that he lied to her. 

Cavendish brings her to Lake Como. She finds Japanese medicine and suspects he acted with Suzi. Nick is there because he followed Suzi. Someone shoots at them and they run after them with Juan Carlos. They meet Suzi with a gun, but she gets murdered with a dart. Nick shoots so badly it’s a miracle he doesn’t kill anyone in their own houses.

Suzi can’t speak and tries to mime, which looked a lot like ‘filming a movie’ to me but Audrey doesn’t get it. 

Four are dead now.

They think it was Cavendish and call the inspector saying where they are going, Malcolm’s villa. Malcolm arrives there with the carabinieri :-p

They find Cavendish already dead. They talk about always doing things together, so they plan to get in a room with anyone and figure it out, but for the final showdown they dress up - she found a red dress in a random closet, while he took Cavendish’s tuxedo off him.

Not sure why, but Grace, Juan Carlos, the maharajah and the colonel are there as well.

They do a recap, where they think everyone… did not do it. 

Nick asked help from his friend in New York police, where the Madeleine woman died but there’s no death certificate for the child, and they accuse Grace of being that child, which she admits… just like that. Audrey proves by making her take the hat off, where she got hurt by Nick with a plate. Nick successfully shoots her in the shoulders (why did the inspector give orders in French? I mean, he’s French and is speaking English to the others, but the carabinieri speak Italian :-/ )

They take Grace away, then Juan Carlos betrays himself by answering to Audrey’s thank you.

The maharajah says she couldn’t have killed Sergei because she was with him, so they understand about Juan Carlos and go after him, but he drives away on a carabinieri car (saying Tobey did kill his father, convinced by Grace). Grace killed Suzi and Cavendish, Juan Carlos killed Sergei.

Nick and Audrey get inside a Ferrari - for some reason with the wheel on the right side, so she drives.

The inspector he took is alive, but Juan Carlos is hit by the bus they should have taken.

The inspector gives them back their passports and sends them away on their anniversary trip, which apparently they arranged for them. They board the Orient-Express…

Nick Spitz- Adam Sandler

Audrey - Jennifer Aniston

Charles Cavendish - Luke Evans

Tobey - David Walliams

We can be heroes - 2020

A movie for children, but a nice one. Recommended. I think kids will like it. For adults it’s obviously rather silly, so you must watch it with kids’ eyes, in which case I found it nice enough and funny. The speeches were boring for me, heard them in a thousand movies already, but if you’re a kid you haven’t, so it’s okay. You can take it like a parody and smile ^_^

Basically, there are lots of superheroes, called the Heroics, and they are sent anytime there’s a problem. Missy’s father promised her not to do it anymore, but when lots and lots of aliens show up in the sky, he’s ordered to join the others. All the superheroes are defeated and trapped inside a space ship. Missy’s father is the leader, then there’s MiracleGuy, father of Wheels, LavaGirl and SharkBoy, parents of Guppy, Tech-No, father of Wild Card, BlindingFast, father of SlowMo, Ms Vox, mother of A Cappella, CrushingLow father of Facemaker, Invisi-girl mother of Noodles, and a couple always bickering, parents of Rewind and FastForward. I don’t think they are named during the movie, but the ending credits read a CrimsonLegend and a RedLightningFury and that’s probably them, since she wore red and he wore black and red, and also they sound like superheroes name and they’re the only ones without a name.

The children are kept locked in a room by Ms Granada for their protection, but when they see on tv that their parents have been captured, Missy plans to escape because she saw on Ojo’s drawings that the aliens will enter their room. Ojo never speaks but she can draw future things.

WildCard is not happy to leave her in charge because he was supposed to be their leader, but she  has a plan and it works, with help from everyone. They get out. Adults try to stop them, but they use their combined powers and escape. They go to Missy’s grandma, who trained all their parents, and now trains them, although not for long because they are found and must escape.

They enter an alien ship and go aboard the big one with their parents.

The president is an alien and Ms Granada too. The children are once again locked in a cell, but Missy gets them out. Once out, Missy and WildCard have a row, she wants to stop the rocket to be launched to Earth, while he wants to free their parents, so he leaves with Facemaker.

Missy and the remaining kids reach the piramid-shaped rocket, and it is revealed that Ojo is an alien and can speak, and is upset because they didn’t work together, but Missy proves that she’s wrong. She knew, looking at one of her drawing that she was an alien, because Ojo only draws the truth and drew herself with tentacles behind her back, so she plotted something with WildCard. Facemaker changed his face to look like him, so that he was free to reach the control room. Now he can finally control his powers, and can stop whoever tries to stop him.

Missy and the other kids work together to fight the aliens and stop the launch, and when they make it, the piramid opens and their parents come out. 

It wasn’t an alien invasion, it was a way for the concerned alien to be sure that the next generation will be able to defend the planet, it wasn’t the takeover of Earth, but of their powers, from the parents to their kids.

All parents now can hug their children, although BlindingFast has to wait a while for SlowMo to reach him (next time, dad, go closer ok?)

The last scene shows the young superheroes with their costumes, not flashy like their parents, but serious and practical, quite cool.

I listened to a bit of audiodescription to see if they named the twins parents, which they don’t because their name really aren’t told. The female voice was really nice and the description well done, only one tiny detail, during a fight she calls Invisi-girl the twins mother, which she isn’t.

It was nice, they mocked in a light way the superhero genre, like their costumes and masks and attitude. They kids were all good.

I only knew two actors in this movie, that I was sure of. Two more that I think I know but don’t know why.

I know Christian Slater of course, and also Sung Kang because I like him. Then there’s Christoper McDonald that I must have seen somewhere for sure but have no idea where, the name isn’t familiar, and same thing for Priyanka Chopra Jonas, I think I saw her somewhere but am not sure.

Conclusion, nice thing. Netflix production huh? They did some pretty cool stuff, really.

Missy - Yaya Gosselin

A Cappella - Lotus Blossom

Facemaker - Andrew Diaz

Ms Granada - Priyanka Chopra Jonas

Tech-no - Christian Slater

Blinding Fast - Sung Kang

President Neil Anami - Christopher McDonald

The prom - 2020

 Well, the story was a good enough one, the two girls were good, played their role well and were really good at singing, most of the songs were good, and the happy ending was welcome and nice. 

I read that this has been a musical for many years but I’ve never seen it, never heard of it before, so I’m not making comparison of any kind. Although I say that that kind of excessive extravaganza works much better in the theatre than in the movies.

Problems? Just a few: 

 - third place, the characters of the actors were too much, I mean they are designed that way, it’s not a matter of acting, but they were really over the top. Too much, really, sometimes it took something away from the story. 

 - second, the scenes with the big revelations on how even the actors have troubled past, to show us they have a heart, like how Dee Dee was once really in love and crushed when she realised her ex husband only cared about her money, or Barry’s story of how he left home because his parents couldn’t accept him for who he was (how he didn’t go to his own prom because the boy he liked showed up with a girl, and his parents wanted to send him to get ‘cured’ so he left and never heard from them again), both interesting messages in the story, but they should have been explained throughout the story showing some character development, not throwing it all on one long scene that turned out to be more boring than touching. Honestly I kept thinking ‘yeah yeah where is Emma?’

 - first: Nicole Kidman… I mean, really??? To play a dancer when she couldn’t put two moves together to save her life? She posed several times, and was extremely coquettish, not believable at all, and the worst part of the movie. Sorry, I have nothing against her and I’ve watched her in other movies (although I admit nothing recent), but this was so not a role for her, come on, everyone danced more than her, literally everyone, and her acting was cold and totally without involvement or emotion.

The songs were nice, the ‘I want to dance with you’ and the ‘love thy neighbour’ (which said a lot of things that I think as well, so a kiss in that direction) and the one about life being difficult, I can’t believe I don’t remember the words, they sang it a lot, anyway, very nice. Also Emma’s song.

Details:

On one hand, we have a small town in Indiana where the parents protests and decide there won’t be a prom because one girl is openly gay and they don’t want her to bring another girl as her date. On the other hand, we have a couple of Broadway actors who are destroyed by a terrible review, and with an unemployed actor and a failed dancer decide that they need to do something that will bring them back on top. The review said they were total narcissist so they find a good cause, and Angie finds Emma’s story on twitter.

They barge into town declaring their support and Emma believes them, and so does her principal (who is completely on her side, bless him) and after various songs they get what they wanted, there will be a prom, and Emma is all excited. Alyssa, her girlfriend, will reveal their relationship at the prom, thinking that being in public will prevent her mother from making a scene (her mom is the head of the protesting parents).

Barry helps her find a dress and they are all excited, but when they get to the school gym, there’s only the principal there. Without telling her, the students and the parents organised a second ball, where they all went, and she’s here alone now. She speaks to Alyssa on the phone, but she’s stuck there now and is too afraid to drop anything and run to her. 

Emma is really really hurt, and next time she meets Alyssa they break up because she can’t go on like that.

Dee Dee calls her ex husband and gives him a house to get Emma a spot on television to tell her story. Emma says thanks but I will do it my way, and she makes a youtube video where she says who she is and plays a song, which is very nice, I like it a lot.

She plans another ball, and our four celebrities give money to make it happen.

Two couples of students come to her to say sorry, after having talked to Trent, and Alyssa tells her mother the truth after she tries to stop it from happening.

The ball is beautiful, and Emma finally dances with Alyssa, and a lot of people who saw her video come to dance too, and even Alyssa’s mother. (And Barry’s mother too, come to say sorry after Dee Dee called her, after decades of not speaking to her son - apologies appreciated, but couldn’t she reach out to him sooner instead of waiting for someone to tell her to? :-/ )

Set it up - 2018

 It was nice, cheerful enough, but the two protagonists’ love story was boring and full of cliches. The ending was pale, but there were funny moments, that were more or less all in the trailer, and there was Lucy Liu which is always a good point.

It starts with showing us the life of many personal assistants, and how they are treated like slaves by irrational men and women that have absolute power over their lives.

Then we are introduced to Harper and Charlie, who supposedly have it worse than anyone. They have a boss who works all the time and demands very much of them, so they have no time for a personal life.

They meet each other while desperately trying to get some food for their boss. Harper ordered it, but she has no cash to pay for it. Charlie didn’t order it (because Rick first said he didn’t want it) but he has cash, so he pays and takes it, but Harper manages to convince him of taking one thing each. She had ordered one thing for Kirsten and one for herself, so they take one each.

Kirsten is a journalist, she writes about sport and Harper thinks she’s a goddess.

Rick is… someone somehow important, apparently, whatever he does, and Charlie hopes that sooner or later he’ll get promoted because a promotion by Rick goes a long way.

Charlie and Harper meet again because she has to pay him back for the food. It’s quite late so they start talking about why they’re both still at work, and then about who has the worst boss, then Charlie takes out some alcohol (discarded by Rick because not enough expensive) and after a few glasses Harper starts saying that maybe their bosses work so much because they don’t have a sex life, so she starts saying that they should get the two together so they’d hook up together and be less mean. Charlie resists at first but then agrees after Rick keeps being a jerk.

Harper has a point, they know everything about Kirsten and Rick, so they can be their Cyrano.

They start by getting them stuck in an elevator, but that doesn’t go too well since a delivery man, a huge one, enters and freaks out when it stops and starts taking his clothes off and even pissing in some glasses (that was a bit too far, come on).

So, the two Cyranos keep trying. Harper tells Kirsten the guy in the elevator asked for her number, while Charlie tells Rick that Kirsten’s site is very sought after.

They send them both to a baseball game with a business meeting pretence, and have them appear on the kiss cam (three times until they eventually kiss).

Kirsten and Rick sleep together, and that day they both leave work during the day, to the assistant’s delight.

Charlie spends his time with Suze, and even his roommate can’t stand her. Harper meets a guy for minigolf and she likes him (although HER sense of humour is odd and embarrassing).

Kirsten is upset because Rick hasn’t called her yet, so they make him call her.

They have Kirsten have a bikini shave (which I didn’t understand, didn’t they already sleep together or did I misunderstand that?)

Only now we see that Charlie had no idea who Cyrano was… oh God.

They send Kirsten flowers and expensive alcohol to Rick, and they plan their dates and the clothes they wear and they write the cards inside the flowers… and it is working, they go out often so they have free time for their personal lives.

Harper wants them to go out for a weekend so she’ll have time for her best-friend’s engagement party, but then Charlie forgot to plan the last date and it went horribly wrong (Kirsten chose Korean barbecue and Rick agreed even though he didn’t know what it was, then he didn’t let her explain and then he threw up and blamed her).

Rick thinks she wanted him to look stupid so he destroys Charlie’s laptop, and then he destroys the science project Charlie made for Rick’s son so now he has to made another one and Harper helps him.

Rick comes to the office all drunk, (and he’s much nicer when drunk, much much nicer), and Charlie tells him what to say to Kirsten and Rick goes to her while still drunk and they make up.

So they go to their weekend away, all planned by the assistants.

Charlie and Harper go together to Suze pool party, have some more odd conversations, then Charlie goes with her to the engagement party, have some embarrassing but maybe fun dancing,  then they leave because the pizzas haven’t arrived yet… which seemed a bit cold to me, honestly, but apparently Harper was too hungry to wait with the others and so they went out and bought a pizza for themselves and went to eat it at Charlie’s place (through the emergency staircase because his roommate is with someone and he doesn’t want to interrupt).

They eat pizza together and start liking each other so she goes away.

Rick is in Kirsten’s office, and they get Charlie there to tell them both that they are getting married.

Rick offers Charlie a promotion once they get back from the marriage next week, and Harper is offered that article she talked about (but never actually wrote).

Charlie is shocked to hear that Rick still plans to sleep with his ex-wife Kiki right before telling him to go buy a ring for Kirsten.

Harper is happy because she thinks they made two people fall in love, and Charlie doesn’t tell her.

Harper hears Rick talking to a woman on the phone, but she knows Kirsten is on a meeting, so she confronts Charlie and learns the truth.

Charlie says that Kirsten doesn’t ever has to know about it, but Harper doesn’t want to help Rick cheat on her. Especially after Kirsten told her how she found a man that understands her and supports her, which isn’t true, because they told Rick everything, they wrote the messages and chose everything.

She goes all out on him, a big speech on how he cares only about himself and his promotion, then she goes to Kirsten and tells her the truth, that she and Rick were set up.

She tells her that she doesn’t really love Rick, that it wasn’t real. That they were tricked into thinking they loved each other while actually they don’t even know each other.

Harper tries to write her article but is having a hard time at it, but finally she manages after some encouragement from her best friend (and some free chips from a place that is way too accommodating, I don’t know of a place that would let her crash there eating all their free chips without ever paying anything, not even one drink, nothing…)

Charlie takes Suze to an expensive restaurant and she’s excited (just because it’s expensive I guess) and suddenly he’s missing the pizza he ate with Harper and breaks up with Suze and walks away just like that. :-/

Harper is writing her article so she doesn’t answer him when he calls, and he goes to the airport to stop Rick and Kirsten from getting married.

He shouts at Rick that he’s a bastard and he quits his job, then he tells Kirsten not to marry him,  that she deserves better, then there’s a very lame moment when Kirsten asks him questions like her favourite food and such (things that Charlie knows but Rick doesn’t) then Rick even calls her Kiki and Kirsten leaves him.

Rick goes to Charlie’s place to ask for information on Kiki because he wants to win her back (yep, Kiki, not Kirsten).

Harper finishes her article. Kirsten offers her old job back but she refuses, saying she used it as an excuse to not write, so Kirsten helps her with that after Harper promises to help her find a new assistant.

It ends with Charlie meeting her outside her office building, after Kirsten set them up to meet, and they get together… but they’re boring so I wasn’t much thrilled about it.

Anyway, they use the term Cyrano as a verb, kind of like setting people up, which is not exactly what Cyrano was…

ITA: Come far perdere la testa al capo

Harper - Zoey Deutch

Charlie - Glen Powell

Kirsten - Lucy Liu

Rick - Taye Diggs

My perfect romance - 2018

 It was hard to finish it, honestly. Boring, really. Maybe if I was 15… but I don’t think so, and certainly not anymore. It was fake, the acting was mostly stiff, the characters were cliches and the love was fake, and the ‘algorithm’ was a stupid idea to begin with.

The best part of it all was Adele, the assistant, a lovely and beautiful lady. And I liked Viv’s sister with her husband, they had a beautiful marriage, rather unreal but nonetheless lovely.

Details: Wes is a tech company CEO. His dad left the family a long time ago, so his mom doesn’t believe in love and taught him to do the same, so he’s the classic handsome man who can charm any woman he wants, pick up any woman he wants, and sleep with a different woman any time he wants. Yeah, right, like he was the only handsome man on the planet :-/

Vivian is single and spends her time on the phone with her sister (who actually has a lovely marriage and husband, the only positive thing about the movie). According to her, work is the most important thing to her, her career, and she developed an algorithm for a dating app, something that will match people based on their compatibility, without photos.

Wes doesn’t believe in love but thinks that there are lots of people desperate to find love, so he wants to launch the app in no time. Viv is upset because of his attitude, and they start off badly. Obviously they won’t stay that way long. Anyway, they are forced to join in on the app for publicity, and she does, meeting a few people who were all horrible dates.

The app started great but now shows signs of going down, so Wes plans something that will get the app back into success and get him back on Viv’s good side. 

Live on tv, after being asked if the app worked for them, she admits that her dates didn’t work out, and he starts a speech saying that he didn’t sign up before, but he did now, and the reason she didn’t find her perfect match was because he hadn’t signed up yet, it’s him, of course, and he starts a very lame moment in which he pretends to know her, simply listing the few things we all know because we heard them, but that is just pathetic, knowing a couple of things doesn’t mean really knowing a person. 

(Let’s not even talk about the fact that apparently Viv has a passion for chocolate cake, she’s so thin she looks like she barely eats at all. Mind you, a more active person could eat chocolate cake and be in good form, but she’s no athlete, she’s just thin).

And the algorithm, based on a few questions? It’s a silly idea, compatibility doesn’t mean that we both like sunset over sunrise, it’s something deeper, and there’s the fact that it was a yes/no matter, no maybe accepted, so many people would be forced to choose something they don’t really think because a third option is not accepted. It would have been better if they hadn’t mentioned any of the questions, letting the viewer speculate on what would be best. 

The last question on the submission was: Do you believe in fate? My answer: maybe. 

Oooops. 

Control Z - season 1

A few words after seeing the whole season, these eight episodes, then I’ll write the details as I saw them while watching.

First: it is a good enough show, Mexican. It’s done well enough, the actors are not bad, the protagonist has an interesting face, and the finale… it’s… well, I’ll talk about that at the very end.

Second: Sofi seemed a very interesting character at first, but I was a little disappointed in how she was portrayed in later episodes, I’ll say why at the end.

Third: there are a lot of things left unsaid, which might be okay if they plan a second season though.

1 - La chica del compleaños    

(Being only the first episode, I don’t remember everyone. Sofi and Javier, of course, and Gerry the bully, and Luis the guy who likes to draw, but I don’t recognize many of the others

Sofi is a quiet girl, a Sherlock-type in the sense that she observes a lot and knows lots more than others do. She’s a bit troubled because she lost her father and maybe hurt herself? She has scars on her arm but the matter has not yet been confronted.

She keeps by herself at first, but then the new guy in school, Javier Williams, son of a famous football player, (meaning soccer of course), is assigned to her for a school project and starts sticking to her. At some point, during a school conference on the responsible use of cellphones, a video shows that one girl, Isabella, was actually born Ismael, a boy.

Obviously chaos ensues, her boyfriend leaves her and she’s mocked by the school bullies. Luckily sisters Natalia and Maria remain her friends.

Asked to find out who did it, after being told by him that Paul chose her, Sofi already understands that Natalia took Isabella’s phone, and Gerry uploaded the video. At the end of the episode, Isabella receives messages asking if she wants revenge against the three of them plus Pablo who betrayed her, and of course she says yes. I mean, don’t judge her, a teenager who’s been hurt in her soul, and she must give a reply right away, so she says yes.

2 - Victims

It starts with everyone receiving videos on those kids for the revenge: Pablo is a cheater, Natalia is a thief, Gerry watches gay porn, and Raul’s politician father is corrupt, or a thief, something.

Lulu, the principal’s secretary, is a great, mean gossip, she has fun with all this, and it’s honestly a bit disgusting, she’s a grown woman not a kid, she should be ashamed of herself!

Isabella doesn’t feel good about it, though, she thought she would but that’s the thing about revenge, it doesn’t cancel the hurt. She talks to Sofia and we learn that Sofi spent a month in a psychiatric ward.

Gerry has sex with Rosita but then she leaves him because of the rumours, while his father takes away his computer. He keeps being a bully at school, though, a real shit and there are no excuses for that.

Luis keeps getting bullied, and his mother shouts at the principal in front of everyone because he does nothing to protect her son, but Luis can’t take it anymore and yells that he did it, he’s the hacker.

Raul’s father is in trouble now and he hits his son out of anger, and is not remotely sorry for it.

Sofi is troubled because the principal wants to propose to her mother, then she also receives a message from the hacker saying he knows her secret - pictures of her with the man we saw in the first episode, the one who knew her father and gives her advice on books to read, although I don’t know what’s wrong with that.

3 - Idiots

Sofi tells everything to that man, and apparently it’s serious, he says her mom would never forgive her and he would go to prison… but I still don’t know why, he’s older but they just talk and he gives her book to read that she gives back afterwards… much to learn here.

Natalia tries to sell her stuff to make money for the money she stole and now has to return.

Javier crashes his car stopping Gerry and his two friends who were running after Luis. 

A post from Luis challenging to beat up Gerry has the principal lock Gerry up in a room, but he manages to get out (maybe that rebel girl freed him, I guess), but when Luis shows up he keeps shouting what he reads on his phone, someone wants him to insult the other kids.

Gerry attacks but Natalia goes first, misses and punches another one, then a general fight starts, everyone fighting, and Gerry beating Luis until Javier stops him kicking him, and then Javier and Sofi take Luis away to the car, but Gerry is unstoppable, pulls Luis out of the car and keeps beating until Luis crashes his head on the sidewalk… he’s in a coma now. 

Sofi finds a video on his phone where he admits he didn’t hacker anyone, he was just desperate to leave school.

Raul gets home to an empty house and a note from his parents saying they had to leave.

Sofi’s friend leaves, and she receives another message from the hacker who seems to know everything, and asks to meet up.

4 - Night school

Sofi cries and has an ‘episode’, and starts cutting her ram when mom calls her to go to school.

Gerry’s father is one of those stupid all-muscles-no-brain that thinks it’s okay to beat people up.

Raul is throwing a party. Sofi didn’t want to go but the hacker tells her to go so Javier drives her there.

Maria stick by her sister for support, but Natalia is mean and manages to alienate her too.

Sofi doesn’t meet the hacker, he sends her other messages through a girl and also on her phone, so she has to drink a glass and she kisses Javier. 

Pablo keeps texting Isabella as if he wants her back, and yet he has sex with his other girl (who was she, Maria?)

The hacker is also blackmailing the girl Alex, so Sofi jumps from the roof and into the pool below as he wants. Her girlfriend is older, I think that’s the problem. After Sofi jumps, Javier leaves and Raul hits on her and they kiss, then the lights go out and he goes to take care of it… left alone, she’s about to phone Javier when it looks like she’s attacked from behind.

There’s also drugs at the party, of course, usual stupid shit.

Sofi’s mom refufes to marry the principal because she thinks Sofi is not ready for that, and maybe she isn’t either. Good, it was a bad proposal, she was worried and instead of understanding he was annoyed and irritating. 

5 - Cara a cara

Sofi wakes up tied up to a chair in a room with the hacker wearing a hood and a mask.

She taken home and left lying outside her house.

The principal thinks it’s Sofi’s fault, then everyone receive messages that all their secrets will be revealed at the Nona, the Notte Nazionale (Spanish it up a bit ok? :-p) , and now the Principal is concerned about the wifi but Bruno reminds him that it’s too late, the hacker already has all he needs. 

(Sorry, I know it’s 2020, but it’s normal for a teacher to have a skirt open all the way up? Guess she wants to be notice, since later on she jumps on the principal and has sex with him when Raul sees them… )

Natalia hooks up with that drug dealer from the party, and he loans her some money.

The school is in chaos. Maria leaves Pablo. Gabby leaves Alex. Raul and Javier seem to be in competition for Sofi. She finds the truck that took her and enters his house, and when he comes in and Javier hits him, they see it’s Bruno.

Javier and Raul fight over her. Gerry visits the hospital again, but Luis’ mother sends him away.

She asks Bruno question, but he only took her home, didn’t do the rest. Sofi and Raul leave him alone with Javier and he gets away with his computer. Sofi found Javier’s sticker in the house so now isn’t sure if she can trust him.

6 - ¿Que tanto conoces a Javier?

Sofi and Raul investigate Javier to know more about him. A guy there says Javier killed him, during a rite of initiation, and shows her a video where he had a newbie jump out the window and into a pool, but he ended on the floor instead and died. His dad bought his way out of the mess. 

Sofia then finds her bracelet in his locker.

Raul said nothing about the principal and Susanna to Sofia. Susanna is married and he says he loves Nora, even though he gave her the cold shoulder.

Isabella thinks Natalia is Pablo’s other girl, and Maria hasn’t the courage to tell her the truth. Javier’s father comes to school and pressures him to play football. Maria is not well, and worries she might be pregnant.

So, the man really was her dead, I thought about it but thought it was too crazy… of course it would be hard to forgive, how could anyone do that???

It ends with Sofi going crazy and then running like hell to Raul’s house and have sex with him, and last image we see is of the hacker’s mask under his bed.

7 - Control Z

The previous semester:

When Raul called Sofi a freak, was friends with Gerry and the others, and showed them all the room of riches of his father. Pablo was with Isa and she was friends with Natalia and Maria.

Sofi wasn’t well and Gerry caught her cutting herself with scissors, and Raul started getting messages with pictures of that room, and he thinks his friends send them. The unknown person asks for money and he pays. 

Sofi talked with Raul about being tired and how everyone has secrets and fake lives, then Raul saw who took the money, then he heard Gerry talk about his father being corrupt.

Raul saw Bruno, and asked him if he could hack other phones too, and then he started looking into Sofia’s messages, and saw her meeting her dad, and films the scene. Sofia got sent to a mental clinic after a breakdown. He went to see her there but they kicked him out. He waited for hours, for days, watching her mom come and go, until Sofi was home again. He tried to talk to her but she was cold (fed up, more like it), while Gerry was unpleasant like others. Isabella and Natalia said she was a freak and shouldn’t be allowed in school.

Raul works with Bruno on finding stuff on everyone, hacking their phones, starting with his friends who ‘had it coming to them’.

He was obsessed with Sofi, and approached her dad after sending her those messages, and that was why he left.

Raul had Alex open the door for Gerry, of course, and he sent Luis messages on what to say, and got punched in the face by Natalia, then had Sofi come to his party. After they kissed and the lights went out, he took the mask and a hood and tied her up. He told Bruno to take her home, that he was doing it all for her. He took Javier’s sticker and planted it in Bruno’s house.

Raul helped Bruno escape, of course, and planted her bracelet in Javier’s locker. 

Present:

Sofia is in bed with Raul, and he tells her he’s always there for her.

8 - Enemigo Publico

Raul and Sofia talk to the principal, and Raul blames it all on Javier. The principal calls Javier’s father who takes Javier out of school. The boy is really upset with Sofi for telling he’s the hacker and never trusting him. Raul of course has stuff on the principal too, we knew about him and Susanna. After Javier is expelled, Rosita now wants to do the Nona again. 

Sofi keeps staying with Raul, Gerry talks to Luis’ mom. The principal goes back to Nora, and Raul tells his father he has no intention of selling the house, and sent the police to get him.

Natalia keeps selling drugs to repay her debt, Maria is pregnant.

At the party, things happen: Pablo leaves Maria to deal with the pregnancy by herself, then tries to force Isabella to go back with him, then yells at her that he was cheating on her for months.

Sofi leaves Raul to get him to confess, and he does, and Javier films it all, and they show it to everyone at the party downstairs.

Raul has a fight with Javier, then tries to go away threatening everyone to reveal all their secrets if they don’t let him through, but Pablo attacks him anyway so he clicks and everyone’s secrets get shows on the screen for everyone to see. Big chaos.

Meanwhile, Luis dies and Gerry can’t take it, but when someone texts him about Raul’s confession, he goes to him with a gun, confronts him, but Sofi and Javier try to stop him and Gerry ends up shooting Javier…

Sofi realised only when they were in bed and he said something that he had said already when he had the mask on, although in different words, something like ‘easy is boring’ or whatever. From that, she found clue after clue in his room, and had no doubt. She even accessed his computer, but I guess she couldn’t delete the stuff on his phone… still, with such a big secret as hers, maybe she should have tried, because her secret was revealed too.

When they are facing each other, Raul tells Gerry that Luis liked him (liked Gerry, that is), which sounds ridiculous since Gerry used to make his life hell, because in real life people don’t love their bullies, but still, we can’t be sure it was true at this point, it wasn’t in the video was it? Maybe he said it to screw with him. Who knows. 

Many things left unsaid, first of all about Sofi’s father. Why did he fake his death? Why wait so long before showing up? Only to her though? How come nobody knew he was alive if he stayed at a bar every day? 

Then the obvious questions: are Luis and Javier dead? What happens to Raul? Did Natalia get the money or will she be in trouble with the dealer? What will happen to Sofi’s mom now? and so on…

I was a bit disappointed in Sofi’s character because in the first episode she seemed Sherlock-like smart, and throughout the series she always seem to know everything about anyone, and yet she noticed nothing about Raul? When in episode 7 they showed that he was right there writing to Luis what to say? 

Anyway, the ending was very bitter, which is not great for me, although I understand that it was… coherent with the spirit of the show… still, it’s very bitter, and I’m not very fond of that.

Shadowhunters: The mortal instruments - season 2

You know, this show has an age limit I think. Maybe I would have liked it better as a teenager, but now I have seen a lot more and am quite fed up already with lots of it.

All of a sudden Clary is all tough talk/tough attitude, talking like she’s a part of them and acting like a slayer. Very bossy too, what she thinks is always right, and her powers are growing like she’s an angel herself, and she fights better than wonder-woman. Really, they show us that shadowhunters are trained from birth, educated and trained day after day for years, and yet she just became one and she can take down trained men like nothing. Who put adamantium in her bones? And I did say ‘men’, plural, because of course she can fight more than one at a time like it was nothing. They are really pushing it, huh? Still, her fighting skills that I suppose are required to make the show cool and make her look like a hero could be accepted, but she’s so bossy and so bloody arrogant, and only cares about herself, despite what she says. She listens to nobody if they go against what she wants - when she wanted to bring back her mom and she caused a major disaster and several deaths, for example. She ignored Magnus and Jace and stopped Alec’s questions, because ‘come on, it’s ok, I’ll just sign a blood oath to do whatever this dark warlock will ask of me, what can go wrong with that?’ 

The werewolf-transformation, when in the first season Luke changed from wolf to human, it was an instant thing, like magic, now they keep showing that when they change from human to wolf it’s a slow zombie-like process… which doesn’t go well with the story. Luke was fighting that Valentine’s woman in season 1 and he changed to kill her while they were fighting, did she wait for him to be ready?

Malec, it was very romantic at first, but am very disappointed in Alec now. 

Magnus is still one of the good things of this show, though.

Let’s see what makes this season bearable:

1 Magnus is cool

2 Sebastian has a nice accent

3 the Queen is entertaining, I like her both child and teenager

… basically, that’s it. Unfortunately this show is mostly about Jace and Clary, and I don’t like them.

Let’s go with episode by episode commentary now.

1 - This guilty blood

Victor is appointed the new head of the institute. He wants Clary and Jocelyn to stay inside, but of course they escape. He declares Jace a traitor and now Jace is ‘wanted, dead or alive’.

Alec wants to find Jace and lashes out at everyone, then asks Magnus to help him ‘after everything he did for him’ which rightly pisses Magnus a lot, but then Alec apologises.

Valentine reveals that he injected demon blood in Jace while he was still inside his mother to make him stronger, tells him he will kill sooner or later, tries everything to convert him to his cause, then takes him to a vampire place to have him kill, and Jace kills a woman vampire even after she said she surrendered to the authority of the Clave, then Jocelyn uses a crossbow to shoot at him (where did the weapon come from? She couldn’t hide that big thing in her clothes…)

Valentine is hurt instead of him because he put himself in between.

Clary instead of running to Jace who was closer, she passes by him to run to her, which is silly, so Valentine and Jace go back through a portal.

2 - A door into the dark

Jace brought Valentine back to his hiding place. 

Clary is angry with her mother and finally she tells her about the demon blood, and shows her a vision of a baby Jace killing a flower with his mind, and says the warlock told her he would bring destruction (and yet he let him into his house and offered to help… maybe he didn’t know who he was?). So that’s it, she wants to kill her own son? And after trying so desperately to find her, telling everyone that she was her everything and a wonderful person, suddenly Clary is all ‘I am not my mother’ and she’s all about finding ‘her brother’… Alec has harsh words for her, but as unpleasant as he is to her, it’s not like he’s wrong, from his point of view.

Simon still has to hide in werewolf territory because he made an enemy of Raphael by freeing Camille first and then by putting him in trouble with the Clave. He asks Magnus’ help in finding her. Vampire Simon is still terrified of snakes.

Jocelyn didn’t even tell Luke.

Clary goes out without her stele, to the academy of arts, conveniently empty so she can start drawing in a room all by herself… then ‘Dot’ abducts her and takes her to Valentine’s ship. 

She says she didn’t die, but Magnus experimented on her. 

Jocelyn asks Alec to use a stone for a ritual to find Jace through their parabatai bond, although he’s risking his life he says he can’t live without him.

Clary convinces Dot to help her. Valentine took a wolf from Luke’s pack and wants Jace to kill her. Clary has Jace run away with her instead with Dot’s help, but of course they live the wolf behind to be killed and Dot to be tortured, probably. How noble.

3 - Parabatai lost

Magnus tries to help Alec, but his soul is lost in the bond. Clary comes back without Jace. He finds a way to call Izzy and learns about Alec, but they can’t take him out of there and Jace is so hurt he ends up in a hospital. The wolves wants him, but Jocelyn goes to get him, and since Alec has so much time, they stay and chat and then he goes on foot… 

Magnus is with him, but he’s lost in memories of growing up with Jace, and falling for him since he was a kid.

Simon’s mom is out drinking, he was worried so Clary helped him find her, and she also told him that he should tell her the truth, that if she loved him before she’ll loved him still… like being a vampire and having teenage problems is the same thing. But she was with Raphael.

With Luke and Izzy’s help, Jace gets there and Alec is saved, but Victor arrests Jace and takes him to the city of bones.

4 - Day of wrath

And… still Alec and Magnus hasn’t had their first date.

Victor tortures Raphael to find Camille and he goes to Magnus who cures him. Magnus is reluctant to hand her over because she once saved his life, some three hundred years ago, but she went too far so he summons her and banishes her to Idris after sending Raphael and Simon out.

Jocelyn is sent to Idris, but Clary doesn’t want to go with her. 

Valentine lets loose a demon that moves from person to person to have them kill each other so that he has free access to the city of bones where he wants to free Jace but he refuses to follow him. Victor had asked him question at his trial in front of the silent brothers, and he couldn’t lie because of the sword he had in hand (sort of a mix between the sword of Shannara and veritaserum), so he said he can’t pledge unconditional loyalty to the clave, so Victor sentenced him to life in prison, but now Jace saves his life. Valentine escapes with the sword.

Under the demon influence, Alec kills Jocelyn, then Clary slays the demon before Isabelle can kill Alec. Victor comes in with Jace, and Simon rushes in to comfort Clary.

5 - Dust and shadows

Clary wants her mom back, like she got Simon back, and makes a deal with a female warlock who agrees, after Magnus had told her that it’s dark magic who shouldn’t be done, like he didn’t when his mother died when he was a child. Now, why didn’t anyone think of that when someone died… can’t imagine why… :-/ and the stupid girl accepted a deal, to owe her a favor when she’ll be in need of a shadowhunter. Can’t she see what that might mean?

Jace tells her no, but Alec is so full of guilt he says yes and even goes with her, and when he asks questions Clary is all ‘it ill be fine, don’t worry’, after all she only has to sign a blood oath with a powerful warrior, no worries right? I almost stopped watching the whole series because of this.

She comes to her senses before the resurrection is complete, but she already signed the blood oath, and guess what, the dark warlock doesn’t need a drive to the mall before the sales are over, no, she wants to make her pregnant with a demon child to create new warlocks, and then she’ll wipe her memories, how fun huh? And now, people will have to save her, again… only this time she saves herself having a vision of a rune that she draws on her hand and then she uses it like she was Iron Man, and Jace tells her to keep it a secret…

The warlock goes away, saying she still owes her a favour.

Simon’s annoying sister throws his blood down the toilet, then he’s going crazy so he tells him mom the truth, and really thinks she might understand… I mean really? Then she sees him feeding on a rat, since it’s daytime and he can’t go outside.

Isabelle’s wound hasn’t healed because there’s demon venom involved, so Victor gives her a special cream…

He’s also upset that Jace saved his life instead of protecting the soul-sword, because now Valentine has two of the three Mortal Instruments.

6 - Iron sisters

Isabelle is all excited to go to the Iron Sisters, the warriors who create all their weapons.

Raphael wiped Simon’s mon’s memory.

Isabelle asks for more cream, she looks addicted to it, and Victor asks her to spy on Clary.

The Iron Sisters reveal that Clary has nothing demonic on her, but Isabelle does, because that cream is not a cure, but it’s made with vampire venom or something.

To make him feel better, Magnus takes Alec to a bar, they play and chat and drink, and learn how many exes they have, which doesn’t go down well because 0 against 17000 is tough, but they get past that until Jace comes in ruining the mood, asking if Magnus has a room for him. Victor told him that if he doesn’t leave, he’ll show to everyone his ‘trial’.

Simon has werewolf Maia help him look for Luke, and they get along fine, and they get there in time to save Luke from attacking a young couple camping in the woods.

Luke’s sister Cleophas, was one of the iron sisters, and at the end we see her killing another sister and going away, with a Circle on her neck.

7 - How are thou fallen

Cleophas goes straight to Valentine. She says she still believes in him and tells him about Clary.

Simon spends time with Maia, but she knows he’s in love with Clary.

Alec finally has some time with Magnus, but Jace is always in the other room with some girl, and the guy doesn’t talk to Clary anymore and is a jerk to Simon as if he was some god-sent gift… :-/

Unfortunately Simon listens to him. What’s up with this Jace guy, why are all pining for him?

Cleophas hurts herself and goes to Luke for help, and Clary despite all her previous ‘helping family’ preaching, understands now that she’s with Valentine and wants to use that to get him, I guess causing more trouble. Yep, she stuns Luke and runs away with Cleophas. Clary has her hearing the terrible sound that’s making her crazy, and she explains that is the sound of an angel on earth crying for help. She understands now that Valentine is keeping one captive. And now that she sees the truth, Clary is all ‘you’re a traitor’…

Valentine wants to use the angel to activate the soul sword and destroy everyone on earth with demon blood, or something like that. Luke got Jace, so Jace and Clary fight the men holding him captive (just look how she fights, not bad for an art student…)

They free the angel, since he can communicate with her she comes up with another rune and breaks his chains.

Isabelle is addicted but has no more cream, so she plans to get some from vampires. Alec asks her advice about Magnus and she’s all ‘go for it’ so he goes straight to him. 

8 - Love is a devil

Luckily for Isabelle, Raphael arrives to help her with those vampires, but she begs him so he bites her.

Maryse is back with Max, and Alec must throw his rune ceremony party, and he asks Magnus help to show her that it’s not gonna end. 

Simon finally confesses to Clary and she kisses him. They go to the party together and Clary sees him and Maia kissing… 

Isabelle goes back to Raphael, basically forcing his hand. 

Max tells Jace he’s not part of the family, because Maryse said so, and then she attacks Jace.

Magnus understands that they are all hallucinating. He casts a spell to help, then his spell book disappears, and it was Iris disguised as a red cat, under Valentine’s orders.

She tells him that Valentine has the child in her care, and she asks Clary to find the girl. Magnus sends her to the Clave.

Now Clary tells them everything about the soul-sword, and it turns out she might have pure angel blood in her. 

After the official rune ceremony, Maryse does well towards Jace, talking to  him like a mom, then it turns out she isn’t fighting with her husband because of Alec and Magnus, but because he’s cheating on her.

9 - Bound by blood

Jace stops a moment of Clary and Simon then her hand starts becoming back… because she made a blood oath and nothing can reverse it. 

Jace is still a jerk towards Simon. Maia tries to kill Clary to stop her from ever touching the soul-sword, but she stops the wolf herself because she’s suddenly wonder-woman.

Luke locks her up even knowing that Maia is claustrophobic.

Valentine wants poor Dot to teach young warlock Madzie the spells from Magnus book.

Raphael and Isabelle continue their relationship.

Luke, Magnus and Raphael meet with Meliorn in a meeting, to discuss the Clary-matter, and Meliorn on behalf of the Queen propose to execute Clary on sight to save the downworld.

Magnus tells Alec about Isabelle and Raphael, and he goes to take her away, but she tells him to go. 

Jace tells Valentine about the blood oath, so he can take Madzie away to Clary and she’s cured instantly, but then Madzie takes her to Valentine… Simon and Jace save her but Valentine takes Simon.

10 - By the light of dawn

Valentine and Madzie attack the institute and kill many. 

Jace, Luke and Clary finally bring Dot to Magnus (and she had to call them, they checked and just now said everyone was either dead or gone… well checked really…)

Luckily they have Magnus, because our girl that knows everything and always knows that ‘there is no other explanation’ actually got the angel vision wrong. Jace is the one who can destroy the soul sword. 

Aaaand again, seconds ticking, shadowhunters dead, Valentine in the institute, Alec in immediate danger, Simon’s throat cut, and what do they do? They talk, a lot. Sure, Alec talks a lot too, after all it’s not like the world is in danger right? 

And Magnus takes Clary there… 

Jace rescues Simon letting him feed on himself, then Simon knocks down Valentine but instead of killing, he runs out with Simon, so Valentine then gets Clary, of course he takes her. Again.

Simon stops them from touching the sword, while outside there are vampires, werewolves and Seelies ready to fight… but not doing much, other than being slayed, because then Jace touches the sword, thinking he’ll destroy it, but he actually activates it, and Valentine raises it.

Alec comes in seeing that, and is worried for Magnus.

Of course Luke and Maia waited outside, who knows why, and Luke attacks him but is easily defeated, but of course Jace is there and they fight, and now it turns out that Valentine and Jocelyn are not his parents, and Clary is not his sister.

Clary comes too, and stops Jace from killing him because ‘the cup is still out there’.

So Valentine is taken into custody. Once outside, Alec finds Magnus again.

Simon not only didn’t die because of the sword, but is now able to stay in the light.

Isabelle breaks things off with Raphael. 

Someone took the sword.

11 - Mea maxima culpa

An inquisitor comes to torture Valentine for information. She doesn’t trust Jace and Clary and what do you know, the little wonder-girl says: “haven’t we proven ourselves? Valentine attacked the institute. We captured him.” She has quite the face, huh? Just because those she cares about are safe, who cares about hundreds of others. Dead because of her, let’s not forget the whole thing degenerated when she went to the warlock Iris.

Someone kills in an instant everyone present at a bar, maybe a Greater Demon, says Jace, and our wonder-heroine has another one of her pearls of wisdom: what’s the difference? Uhmmm, did she think they were taller maybe, greater height?

Azazel, one of the Princes of Hell. Isabelle was supposed to be hiding at the institute sweating out her addiction, but left alone she runs out begging Raphael to bite her, and when he refuses she goes in search of vampires, but the demon finds her. Luckily, she’s saved by Sebastian, apparently another shadowhunter.

The clever duo think of asking Valentine, and she finds out they are not brother and sister after all.

How unbearable her tough-cop attitute, argh.

To help Alec find his sister, Magus summons Azazel, but he’s stronger and can’t be contained.

Isabelle is staying with Sebastian to battle her addiction, and it’s not clear yet if he’s good or bad or a trouble mix, but I like his British accent a lot.

12 - You are not your own

Azazel switched Magnus and Valentine’s body, so Magnus is in prison now.

Alec calls Magnus on the phone and the fact that he calls him Alec should say everything already :-/ Not only that, but it’s only after Valentine traps Jace and he tells him it’s true they switched, that he stops that Herondale woman from killing him. Valentine now reveals that Jace is her grandson that she thought was dead.

I’m quite disappointed in Alec, honestly. Anyway, Valentine wants his old body too apparently, so he wants Magnus to drink a potion with him and switch again. Of course he planned to escape right away, but Sebastian helps Clary with her rune ability and she catches him back.

13 - Those of demon blood

Now that Simon is a Daylighter he wants to get his old life back, but now other vampires want to be part of ‘his’ clan.

The Herondale woman was all against Jace before, but now she’s all ‘you’re so much like your mother and father’ and makes him head of the institute.

There seems to be a revolt of the downworlders. Luke’s already been cleared and they go to all their friends to get samples to clear them all. Simon refuses because he’s jewish. Magnus gives Alec a hair then tells him to get out. Good. I love them together, but Alec… aaaargh.

Now the woman wants all downworlders to be implanted chips to be tracked. 

Shadowhunters are being killed and their runes removed, that’s why, but the moment they take Max, Isabelle’s little brother, they find her and kill her. 

Jace makes Alec the new Head of the institute, and he sends him to remove Maia’s chip and they hook up.

Simon sings at Maia’s bar, full of vampires, and he’s good :-)

Alec apologises to Magnus. Good.

14 - The fair falk

Alec starts what he wants to be a regular meeting with downworlders leaders, and during the first one Luke sneaks out and tries to kill Valentine with the help of an unknown person who called him on a burner phone. Sebastian warns Alec and they stop him, and now Alec thinks Valentine is not safe there.

Alec sends Jace and Clary to meet the Seelie queen, and while there the Queen proposes an alliance to Simon alone, saying that shadowhunters always chose their own in the end, and she proves it with enchanted vines that will kill both boys until Clary gives her heart’s desire’s kiss. She kisses Simon but it doesn’t work, so she kisses Jace and they are free. Of course Simon is very hurt, and doesn’t reply to Clary’s many calls. Clary is in tears.

Maryse tells Isabelle about Robert’s infidelity, but she already knew. Isabelle then tells her about her addiction, and that she’s recovering, and they hug. Wow, no more an ice queen then?

The episode ends showing us that Sebastian has someone locked up, been some time apparently, but even if he’s not a good guy, he’s a good addition to the show, although I hope they won’t drag the mystery too long, making it boring. I like the guy, and the actor is good.

Funny how in this episode the child playing the Seelie Queen was a better actress than the adults in the same scenes…

15 - A problem of memory

Heartbroken, Simon goes out to drink and a vampire has him taste plasma, which apparently is quite strong, then took him to a place where mundanes go to get bitten, and a girl approached him and he bit her. In the morning, Luke finds out a girl died and Simon is involved, but Clary can’t believe it. She’s still trying to make things right with him, but he said that Seelie magic doesn’t lie.

Simon finds out it wasn’t him, and confronts the guy Quinn, and tells him in front of a place full of vampire, and they fight and Simon kills Quinn. 

 Magnus is clearly not okay, after the torture inside Valentine’s body he’s been remembering traumatising stuff of when he was still a child. After Alec insists, he tells him that after his mother committed suicide, his stepfather called him an abomination and said she hated that she gave birth to a monster, so he killed him, he burned him. Alec hugs him. 

Sebastian is seen like a hero by Isabelle, but we now see that whoever he is, he is keeping the real Sebastian prisoner. Real Seb breaks free and escapes the apartment, walks as far as he can and is in sight of Isabelle and Aline, his cousin, when fake Sebastian reaches him and kills him.

While they transfer Valentine, the shadowhunters all get to Idris but the one holding him, Duncan, who instead brings him to Sebastian. Duncan asks him to free his family now, but is instead killed.

16 - Day of atonement

Jace thinks Valentine is somewhere in Idris and suddenly Clary sees a rune and opens a portal there, so they don’t need a warlock. She does it without discussing it first, impulsive, and she ends in a lake with Jace, and she drinks some of the water with hallucinogenic powers. She struggles when Jace and Isabelle try to help her, but Jace’s eyes go yellow and suddenly she’s ok.

Fake Sebastian’s real name is Jonathan. He killed a boy so Valentine kept him chained in a cabin for a year, then Valentine sent him to Edom, some kind of hell where they burned his skin level by level, but he learned how to use his demon blood. Now he wants to send him to Edom in return.

Alec’s dad reveals to him that the clave never retrieved the soul-sword, and we see that Jonathan has it, so he believes Valentine when he tells him how proud he is of him, so he takes him away instead. 

Jonathan is Clary’s brother.

Maia goes with Simon to his family dinner.

17 - A dark reflection

Alec reveals the big soul-sword secret to Jace and Clary too, he already told Isabelle. Not really keeping it a secret, and yet he didn’t tell Magnus. When he finds out, he’s heartbroken.

Valentine and Jonathan are after the Mirror, and they attack a warlock because of it but he kills himself so they can’t get the truth out of him. This Elliott was a friend of Clary, Jocelyn entrusted him with this secret, and now that he’s dead, Dot is the next, and she goes to Clary and Jace together they find the mirror.

Maia and Simon decide to start dating, taking things slow.

Isabelle keeps training Max, now with Simon, but is very worried about him going on missions because he’s only 12 years old, and yet he’s the only one in there who realised that Sebastian is Jonathan.

18 - Awake, arise, or be forever fallen

Max is found badly hurt but is unconscious. Jace suspects he found Jonathan and that maybe Jonathan is inside glamoured as one of their own, and yet nobody suspects Sebastian. 

Magnus and Luke met the Seelie Queen and she wants his people and the werewolves on her side against the shadowhunter, so they say they have to consider it. Magnus still hurts a lot, Alec hurt him a lot but he loves him. Alec asks his help for Max and of course he goes, but there’s nothing he can do, so a Silent Brother does something to the boy that few shadowhunters can survive and the 12 year old makes it.

Russell, the bad wolf who got away after opposing Luke, turned a mundane into a werewolves, so Luke fights him and wins, but doesn’t kill him. The wolves with Russell now bow to him, and they all go back to Luke’s pack. The new guy Bat also. Luke’s cop partner planted a camera in the Chinese restaurant so she filmed him talking about wolves and pack.

Sebastian easily tricks Jace into leaving the mirror so he can easily kill all the other shadowhunters guarding it and he takes it, but when he tries to get out Clary finds him and retrieves the mirror. Jonathan escapes, and Clary realises it wasn’t the real mirror, and she was having visions sent to her by the angel, and the real mirror is actually the Lake in Idris.

Alec apologises to Magnus again, but Magnus leaves nonetheless because of his duties towards his people.

19 - Hail and farewell

Magnus accepted the Queen’s offer on behalf of the warlock, and convinces the other downworlders, and she comes in person to speak at Alec’s meeting, and refuses to help him. The downworlders will now fight on their own. Luke and Raphael both agree with Magnus because she can protect them against Valentine, but the institute can’t.

So now the downworlders are looking for Valentine and Jonathan. The warlocks put wards around the city so no shadowhunter can leave to go to the lake (so Valentine can’t portal).

… I’m making no comment on the fact that Isabelle went on to find Valentine and Jonathan with super high heels… not stiletto, ok, but still pretty high…

Jace and Isabelle fight Jonathan and win, and theoretically he should be dead now, but let’s see how it goes.

Simon talks to the Seelie Queen because Clary asks him to, and he does everything that girl asks of him, and the queen appears like a teenager because she likes him, and he understands that she wants a war and refuses to join her. So the queen took Maia. 

Valentine offers the queen a mysterious deal.

20 - Beside still water

Oh what a surprise, they told everyone that Jonathan was dead but he’s alive for long enough to say ‘mother’ and his blood opens a portal and lets through demons.

Luke and Simon go to the Queen to get Maia back, and after talking to Simon they are all allowed to go free… nobody suspects anything, but we audience saw how fixated she is on him, so it’s easy to imagine why, he promised to come back to her.

Valentine gets through to Idris crossing Seelie territory, because the Queen accepted a deal with him. Luke finds out and tells everyone. Clary opens her own portal and goes there with Jace, while Alec and Isabelle stay because of the demons.

When there, they realise that Consul Malachi is a Circle member, and he tries to kill them too, but Jace powers free them. Malachi and his men die.

They waste only a little time here and there to flirt, then they get to the lake and Valentine surprises them and kills Jace. Then Valentine puts sword and cup in the lake and summons the angel Raziel. Right at the last second, before he makes his wish, she frees herself, fights him, and what do you know, she kills him. The angel is still there, waiting for the wish, so she asks to bring Jace back, and Jace is alive again, but doesn’t tell anyone how.

Alec asks Magnus help to seal the rift; he’s still hurting and can barely look at him, but accepts to save lives. Alec is supposed to cover for him while he works, but for the first time he seems to miss the shot and instead of trying again he runs back calling for Magnus until he can turn and save him, so basically Alec is barely any help at all, he simply gets rid of three little demons and Isabelle helps with the fourth.

Alec, Isabelle and Magnus get to Jace and Clary the moment they kiss after it’s all over. 

Everyone is having a party now that the bad guys are supposedly dead, but Luke’s cop partner arrives to confront him on being a werewolf, and Luke is worried about how he came back, and also in pain, at the end, for some reason.

Magnus is drinking by himself and Alec goes talk to him, and they make up, just like that, all Alec has to do is say: ‘I’m sorry, I don’t think I can live without you’ and Magnus melts and they go away together. 

The demons that got through reunite and a humanoid black demon comes out of it, is it Jonathan’s mom? Will she bring Jonathan back?

Who knows, this is how the season ends.