Not bad but not great either. It would be better if you were an Adam Sandler fan, which I am not. And I didn’t like his character at all, which is the main problem since he’s the protagonist.
I like Jennifer Aniston, though.
This is some kind of parody of mystery movies and books.
Details:
Nick and Audrey are married, been for years, and their anniversary is approaching. She’s a hairdresser and complaints that he’s not romantic at all, that he used to make promises but never kept them, like their trip to Europe, so when they have a discussion at home and she brings it up, he lies and says he had already organised it as a surprise.
Problem is, Nick always lies. She thinks he’s a detective, that he got a promotion, but it’s not true.
On the plane, she wanders around to watch the first class, and meets Charles Cavendish, a very rich and handsome man. They talk for a while and he invites them to go with him on a yacht. Nick refuses at first but then agrees when he sees the bus they were supposed to use.
There are other people on the yacht, reunited there to celebrate billionaire Malcolm Quince marriage to a much younger girl, Suzi. She used to be engaged to Charles. There’s also actress Grace, Malcolm’s son Tobey, a colonel who saved Malcolm’s life years ago and his guard, a maharajah, and car pilot Juan Carlos.
The pilot doesn’t speak English at all, and the maharajah is the “yo” type, which is maybe supposed to be funny, I found it annoying.
Malcolm says that they are all parasite that wait for his money, so he prepares to sign a new will in front of them where he leaves everything to Suzi, but before he can the lights go out long enough for someone to kill Malcolm. Everyone suspects Tobey at first, but he’s found dead shortly after.
French inspector Delacroix interrogates them all and suspects Nick and Audrey.
Audrey is a fan of mystery books, and up until this moment had fun trying to decipher the clues. Being suspects now, they kind of have to find out who actually did it.
The inspector knows that he lied and it’s a simple sergeant, who failed the detective test three times.
Cavendish provided accommodations for them, so at least they are not stranded on the street. That’s rather on Cavendish’s favour, I’d say.
Audrey suspects Suzi for no reason, just how Nick suspects Cavendish because he’s jealous of him. They get a message to go talk to Sergei, they go and hear a story about the Colonel and why he might have killed the old man. When the colonel saved Malcolm, he had a girlfriend, but when he came out of the coma, she was married to Malcolm. She died, and her child too.
Someone comes and kills Sergei and they escape through the window, see the colonel in his room flossing his teeth and they enter another room where the maharajah and Grace jump on the table while they are under it, but it seems he can’t… perform so they leave.
They can’t suspect the colonel at this point, and they see the tv news where their pictures are shown as murder suspects. Audrey finds out he’s not a detective and is quite upset that he lied to her.
Cavendish brings her to Lake Como. She finds Japanese medicine and suspects he acted with Suzi. Nick is there because he followed Suzi. Someone shoots at them and they run after them with Juan Carlos. They meet Suzi with a gun, but she gets murdered with a dart. Nick shoots so badly it’s a miracle he doesn’t kill anyone in their own houses.
Suzi can’t speak and tries to mime, which looked a lot like ‘filming a movie’ to me but Audrey doesn’t get it.
Four are dead now.
They think it was Cavendish and call the inspector saying where they are going, Malcolm’s villa. Malcolm arrives there with the carabinieri :-p
They find Cavendish already dead. They talk about always doing things together, so they plan to get in a room with anyone and figure it out, but for the final showdown they dress up - she found a red dress in a random closet, while he took Cavendish’s tuxedo off him.
Not sure why, but Grace, Juan Carlos, the maharajah and the colonel are there as well.
They do a recap, where they think everyone… did not do it.
Nick asked help from his friend in New York police, where the Madeleine woman died but there’s no death certificate for the child, and they accuse Grace of being that child, which she admits… just like that. Audrey proves by making her take the hat off, where she got hurt by Nick with a plate. Nick successfully shoots her in the shoulders (why did the inspector give orders in French? I mean, he’s French and is speaking English to the others, but the carabinieri speak Italian :-/ )
They take Grace away, then Juan Carlos betrays himself by answering to Audrey’s thank you.
The maharajah says she couldn’t have killed Sergei because she was with him, so they understand about Juan Carlos and go after him, but he drives away on a carabinieri car (saying Tobey did kill his father, convinced by Grace). Grace killed Suzi and Cavendish, Juan Carlos killed Sergei.
Nick and Audrey get inside a Ferrari - for some reason with the wheel on the right side, so she drives.
The inspector he took is alive, but Juan Carlos is hit by the bus they should have taken.
The inspector gives them back their passports and sends them away on their anniversary trip, which apparently they arranged for them. They board the Orient-Express…
Nick Spitz- Adam Sandler
Audrey - Jennifer Aniston
Charles Cavendish - Luke Evans
Tobey - David Walliams
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