The story is:
An English village borders with an enchanted land. One young man ventures there and has an affair with a woman, and later a baby is left outside his door. The baby grows up to become Tristan, so much in love with Victoria that he promises her that he’ll come back with a fallen star if she agrees to marry him. Like his father he ventures outside the Wall and finds out that the fallen star is a beautiful girl, Yvaine. At first he treats her rather unkindly, wanting to take her prisoner back to his Victoria, but it’s not that simple because other people are after her. Three witches want her to eat her heart to gain power and youth, while the sons of the dead king want to retrieve a gem she has. Well, actually the enchanted gem flew to the sky hitting a star and that’s why she fell and has the gem now.
Tristan has to save her from them all and get home in time for Victoria’s birthday, but during these adventures he falls in love with Yvaine. It turns out that he’s the king’s grandson so he becomes the new king and Yvaine is his queen.
It was obvious that they had to fall in love, but I didn’t really like the love story.
In details:
the first guy to go out the Wall finds a girl who has been enslaved by a witch. At first he thinks she wants him to free her, but she knows that’s impossible, so he wonders what she might want from him instead, and she takes him inside the carriage to have sex... *rollingeyes*
A baby is left outside his door. No explanations. He raises the baby and when he’s grown up Tristan is all “oh Victoria Victoria”, jealous that another guy bought her a ring so he goes ‘tsk I’ll give you a star’. His dad tells him of the few things he had with him as a baby, and there’s a candle that can transport you wherever you want to go, so he uses it to reach the star, and finds that it is in fact a very pretty blonde. Tristan takes her prisoner, telling her that he’ll bring her to his love Victoria.. What a gentleman huh?
She’s tired and he leaves her alone to sleep, after having chained her to a tree. :-/ really, he left a girl alone in the woods chained to a tree...
A unicorn comes to save her, since he can break the enchanted chain. The unicorn takes her to a Inn to rest, but the place has been built by the witch Lamia to trap her. Lamia’s plan is to make her feel well again so that her heart will shine, and then cut it out. When Primus stops there too in his search for the gem, not noticing that it was actually in front of him, Lamia kills him. Tristan was warned by the stars that she was in danger and got there together with Primus, and he manages to save the girl escaping with what remained of the candle. Problem is, he told her to think of home: he thought of England and she thought of her home in the sky, so they stopped half-way through. They are rescued/captured by a flying pirate ship. Captain Shakespeare pretends to be fierce in front of his men but he wants to help them. He teaches Tristan how to fight with a sword and he teaches Yvaine how to dance.. it must be a long flight since Tristan becomes so good, and yet she doesn’t...
When they get out they still have a long walk ahead so they ask a passing woman for a lift, but she’s actually the witch who kept his mother prisoner. She turns him into a mouse and Yvaine confesses that she loves him thinking that in his mouse-state he wouldn’t understand but he does. When they reach a market he’s turned back into a man: he says that he loves her too and they spend the night together. She wakes up alone and a guy tells her that he said he’d go back to his true love Victoria! She’s devastated and starts walking towards the Wall on her own. Tristan did go to Victoria but only to say goodbye and to tell her to grow up... a rather annoying and stupid scene, very unnecessary, because she wasn’t much different from how he was before, and yet now he blames her for being childish only because she didn’t go through what he experience and didn’t have the same chance to grow up. He was just like her before, maybe even worse because I don’t know if she would have kept anyone prisoner :-/
He realizes that if Yvaine crosses the border she’ll become stardust, so he runs trying to stop her. He’s too late, but luckily for her his mother isn’t. She stops her, but then Lamia comes and she kills the red witch and then she takes away with her the two women. Tristan and the last prince follow them. They arrive together at the witches’ castle, where Septimus recognizes in the woman with Yvaine his sister Una. Septimus kills one of the witches but is then killed by Lamia. Una encourages Tristan to fight, and he frees the trapped beasts that the witches used to make magic (by killing them). The beasts kill another sister. Tristan fights Lamia who is actually winning and about to kill him in front of Yvaine, then she stops and makes a big scene like ‘what’s the point now that I’m alone, my sisters are dead, what do I live for’ and blah blah, all this because watching him die like that would have broken Yvaine’s heart; Lamia tries again to get her but Yvaine hugs Tristan and then she shines like stars do, so shining that Lamia explodes or is burned into dust or whatever, anyway they win.
The gem turns again red in Tristan’s hands and Una reveals that he’s the last male heir to the throne and therefore he’s the new king (because of course women don’t inherit anything :-/ ).
The seven ghosts of the seven princes vanish now that there’s a new king, and he’s crowned with Yvaine. At the ceremony we can see a jealous Victoria, captain Shakespeare with all his men, and Tristan’s mom and dad together again. The narrator informs us that they lived happily, that they had kids and grandkids because they could live longer, actually she’s immortal and he should be too because he won the heart of a star, and after even their grandkids are grown up they use one of those candles to go up in the sky and live on as stars. Eternally together and happy. The end.
It wasn’t bad, I liked it enough but not as much as I wanted to.
Tristan-Charlie Cox
Yvaine-Claire Danes - very pretty and charming, a lovely star
Lamia-Michelle Pfeiffer - well, she’s Michelle Pfeiffer, nothing to add *_*
Captain Shakespeare-Robert DeNiro - there was really no need for a big name here, this role would have been even better with someone else, I didn’t like him here honestly.
Secundus-Rupert Everett - in a very small role, he dies immediately
The dying king-Peter O’Toole - the character was rather hideous honestly. The actor did it well.
Victoria-Sienna Miller
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