I watched it until the end because there is Jennifer Aniston and that’s always a nice thing ,but otherwise I didn’t like this film much. Mostly because the main character David was a very unpleasant character. Other than that, it was enough well done, a comedy that a few times goes quite off-the-wall, it’s certainly dumber than I thought, in that sort of dumb-on-purpose kind of comedy.
The plot:
David is a drug dealer, but a small fish, sells pot personally to of-age people. Kenny is 18 and his mom left him alone. Sarah goes by the name of Rose and works as a stripper and has a boyfriend (Jimmy, we never see him) who steals all her money.
They live in the same building. One night Kenny sees three thugs bothering Casey, a run-away-from-home girl, and intervenes. The wanted her iphone, but silly Kenny tells them what David does and so they don’t care about Casey and her phone anymore, they care about getting his backpack, which as far as they know is either full of drugs or full of money.
Casey doesn’t care and walks away, but now David’s in trouble because he fails to lose them meaning they get his bag with all the money he made that day.
His boss Brad isn’t too pleased about that, and David’s scared for his life, but Brad has an offer for him. Go to Messico and bring back a load of drugs for him, because his carrier can’t do it (don’t remember why, not important). If he manages that, Brad will cancel his debt in full, and even pay him some. Deciding factor in the matter, is that David doesn’t really have a choice, he can’t say no.
He’s at a loss, it’s very dangerous, he could get years in prison if he were caught smuggling drugs, but then he has an idea: pretend to be a family on vacation.
He asks Rose, offering something like 30.000 dollars or something, but she doesn’t trust him and refuses. He asks Casey, offering 1.000 dollars and she accepts. He asks Kenny and he accepts because he likes the man and thinks he’s supercool.
When Rose’s employer tells her that to be competitive he needs to offer other services too, so now all the girls will have sex for money, she quits. It’s really no surprise that the girl who calls herself boner-garage is quite happy about that, but Rose isn’t, so she quits her job and goes home to discover that she’s been evicted because she didn’t pay rent, I think, so she doesn’t really have lots of choices here. She joins David that he’s already on the plane with the kids. And good thing for them too, because they didn’t really know how to act and were extremely suspicious, but she made it ok.
Brad has a big camper waiting for them, huge really, so David drives it to their destination.
Once there, it’s full of armed people but after David mentions that Pablo sent him, they become more friendly. That’s the name Brad gave him, implying that that’s the name they know him under.
Those people fill the whole vehicle with weed, completely full, and a guy’s mother also gives them a basket full of fruits. Nobody notices that there’s a scary hairy spider in there.
They drive away but are stopped by a cop that saw them come out of there and wants a bribe to let them go. David thinks he wants a 1000 dollars and he doesn’t have it, and is quite happy to offer Rose when the man hints at other way to pay him. David doesn’t care that Rose has no intention of sucking the guy, but it turns out the man has different tastes, and Rose smugly volunteers David.
I guess this next scene made a lot of people laugh, because it is what lots of people find funny, because it talks of sex, of sucking a guy, and because it has David doing his best to convince poor innocent Kenny to do it, and he manages too, Kenny never once asks him why doesn’t he do it himself. Luckily for Kenny, David finally realises that the man wanted 1000 pesos, roughly 100 dollars, so he pays him and they go away.
At the border, they’re terrified to see that a man is stopped and beaten for having a joint with him, and when asked to stop the vehicle for inspection, they’re even more terrified, but a soon soon as the ‘guard’ opens the door, a bunch of people walks from under it and runs, I guess trying to enter the US illegally, if they make it alive since the guy starts shooting at them.
Of course, Pablo was not at all Brad’s other-name, no, it’s actually a dangerous man who is rather pissed with them now.
Rose read a lot of the manual to pass the time, but David doesn’t listen to her when she points out that he’s speeding too much, considering how heavy they now are, so the camper (their RV they call it) breaks down, leaving them stranded.
At this point, hearing Rose and Casey talk, and Rose sort of defending David saying he’s not an idiot, it’s depressingly obvious that she sort of likes him, against all reason.
Luckily another family finds them and helps them. They pull the camper to a garage, close for the night, then they all must wait until the next day. They’re a little shocked when they see that Don has a gun and badge, and although he’s not a cop, it’s worse, he’s in the DEA, meaning narcotics.
The Fitzgerald are very welcoming, Edie especially has no breaks at all on what she will say, she goes for very intimate stories - since they don’t know a thing about each other at this point, you’d figure she might find something else to talk about, but no, Edie is very much without restraint.
Edie convinced herself that they have a baby while that blanket she sees is instead full of weed. They go along with it because they don’t know what else to do, but now, when Edie insists on holding the child, Rose sort of throws it away , or maybe it’s an accident although it doesn’t look like it, so Edie screams and screams when she sees truck after truck turning that bundle into dust.
Casey sort of saves the situation by pretending that it was a project for school, pretending to care for a baby and they all took it too far…
David and Rose attempt to ‘steal’ their keys during the night, to repair their RV themselves using their vehicles’s good parts, I think was their plan, but the couple wakes up and Edie is sure they entered their tent at night because they want sex, switching couples; luckily for Rose and David they don’t really want to go through with it, and Edie is happy just touching Rose’s breasts. Over the shirt.
Melissa and Kenny like each other a lot, but he makes no move at all because he’s never kissed a girl before and doesn’t now what to do. Casey and Rose teach him how to kiss, and it’s an embarrassingly long scene where Kenny kisses Casey and then Rose and then Casey and so on.
David just stands there and watches, having fun by the look of it, not even bothering to close the door, so when Melissa comes back she sees them and is of course disgusted, and runs away.
Next day, they’re called to the garage, quite surprisingly since it’s a Sunday morning from what they said, so how come someone went to work and repaired their vehicle immediately …
Once inside the place, they see that the mechanic has been tied up, and there’s Pablo Chacon waiting for them. He wants to kill them all, but when David tells him that Rose is a stripper Pablo gets curious, so Rose does a long performance, there’s even some convenient water nearby to make a shower, it’s a long show, until she gets close to him and manages to hit him, then they all enter their RV and drive away, also destroying his expensive yellow car by hitting it full force.
They don’t go very far though, because Kenny was at the wheel and he can’t drive, and in all that stumbling the basket of fruit fell down letting the spider loose, who now climbs up Kenny’s leg and bites him on his balls. So of course the go off-road. When Kenny tells them and shows them, and it looks really really bad, Rose of course insists on going to a hospital. David is very against it, he wants to get to Brad as soon as possible, but of course they go to a hospital after Kenny faints.
David call Brad saying that he wants lots more money now to do it, asks for half a million dollars and Brad agrees, if they get there that very night, so now Brad is even more in a hurry. He even proposes to leave Kenny there and go.
At the hospital, Casey meets Scottie, she finds him hot. She goes out with him that night, and when she’s late back, they kind of worry about her, and start talking, she tells him Jimmy left her after stealing from her and that her real name’s Sarah, then they almost kiss but are interrupted by Casey.
Finally Kenny is released and David tries to hurry, resulting in him making Kenny fall down and they having a fight over it. David shouts about the half million dollars he doesn’t want to loose because of Kenny, and Rose is quite pissed that he was going to give them so little.
When Casey walks away, Rose doesn’t want to leave her behind, and neither does Kenny, of course. David drives away, but of course he comes back.
Casey talks about it with Scottie but when she wants to go he wants sex instead; Rose and Kenny arrive to tell him to get off. She hits him and breaks his nose.
David convinces them to go back together, and they meet the Fitzgerald again. Melissa tells her mother what she saw, and so Kenny reveals that they’re not related at all, they’re smugglers.
Pablo and his man arrive, Don knocks one out but Pablo takes Melissa hostage.
Pablo is very very pissed and wants to kill them all. David makes a useless speech on why Pablo shouldn’t kill the others, and that he loves them all, and then fireworks distract Pablo enough for David to fight him, and the girls take the gun away, and then Kenny hits him hard. Melissa is impressed and Kenny kisses her, and David kisses Rose.
Don arrests Pablo and then lets the Millers go.
David drives them all to deliver the drugs, but they arrive in the morning so Brad has no intention to pay him, never had probably, but David made a deal with Don (don’t know when) so now Don and all his DEA team arrive to arrest Brad.
David and all witnesses to the crime, meaning the whole ‘family’, goes into witness protection for the next months, living like a family in a beautiful house with garden and white fences…
ITA come ti spaccio la famiglia
Gag reel at the end before all the credits.
Rose/Sarah - Jennifer Aniston
David - Jason Sudeikis
Kenny - Will Poulter
Casey - Emma Roberts
Brad - Ed Helms
Melissa Fitzgerald - Molly Quinn
Don Fitzgerald - Nick Offerman
Edie Fitzgerald - Kathryn Hahn
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