The team of the first movie is back. Barney (Silvester Stallone) is the leader of the team, and with him are Christmas (Jason Statham), Yang (Jet Li) whose battle skills using a frying pan made me think of Terence Hill, because he always used funny things like these. Gunner (Dolph Lundgren) is with them again, and they tell us that Gunner has a degree in engineering, another punchline because Lundgren has an Engineering degree, which anyway isn't any help to Gunner, I must say. Then there is also Caesar (Terry Crews) and Toll Road (Randy Couture), with the addition of Billy the kid (Liam Hemsworth). Billy was a soldier, but his commander killed his dog, well the dog he had found and kept with him! How cruel is that? No shred of humanity whatsoever?!?
At the beginning they are to free a millionnaire chinese man, and doing that also free mercenary Trench (Arnold Scharzenegger) whose first words are 'this is embarassing' :lol: A little embarassing are also all those little jokes like If you ruin I will terminate you, or stuff like that, I know Schwarzy made Terminator, everybody does, no reason to remind us :lol: I liked that the team had Bad Attitude written on their jeep, made me think of b.a. :lol: About looks, I preferred Stallone with that bit of beard he had in the first film; here he only has moustaches. I don't like that. Completed this mission, they wronged me by taking Jet Li off the movie so soon. The terrible joke "chinese take-away" while he was parachuting off the plane only made it worse. What made it much worse is that they chose to replace him in the movie with another chinese, which could have opened lots of nice, thrilling possibilities! Instead they chose Nan Yu in the role of Maggie. Why did they do this?!? Maggie's so annoying, and full of poses( I don't know the actress at all actually, but this character here is useless). She's brought in by Mr. Church (Bruce Willis) who is very angry with Barney because apparently he took 5 million dollars of his on last mission to the Vilena Island, and I suppose he's talking about the money Barney gave Sandra, but I had not realised those were Church money. I thought it was all Barney's money. Anyway, as a payment he wants Barney to escort Maggie to retrieve something, and they succeed but then comes Vilain (Jean-Claude Van Damme) who takes it from them and kills Billy. Maybe there's something wrong with my brain or with my eyes, because when he showed them his tattoo of a goat, I couldn't see any goat, honestly I saw a black star dancing happily... what can I tell you, I did, honest, I still don't know where he saw a goat in that!
Anyway, now they all go on a mission to avenge their young friend. Their plan: they'll look for him, they'll find him and they'll kill him... not too original, but still a good plan :lol: The bit "We are Americans!" was fun: yeah, sure, apart one Swedish guy, a chinese girl, and of course a British guy.
At some point they were in real trouble, with no more weapons against many baddies and a tank, when help came unexpectedly. Booker (Chuck Norris), known lonewolf, killed them all and destroyed the tank with a missile, all by himself!! Of course, why not, that's Chuck's style :lol: Then there is the final showdown with Schwarzy : "I'm back" we know, we know... and again "I'll be back" yeah yeah seen than, and then Bruce Willis joining in the action. Chuck Norris too, all the action heroes together "who's next?Rambo?" against Vilain's men, until Barney (let's go back to characters) has his personal face to face with him. Personally, I wouldn't have fallen for Vilain's speech. Man or sheep? Really? Well, listen, it's just you and me here, so I'll be whatever I want to be and you'll be a dead goat which by the way is what I want you to be. Bang bang, end of it. Instead they fought with their hands. I'd have shot him in his place, then I'd told him sheep=alive goat=dead!
Still, I really enjoyed Van Damme here, he was lots of fun and quite cool.
Anyway. It was fun enough, but I still prefer the first one.
ITA i mercenari 2
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