The one with Christopher Walken. And Grace Jones. That’s it, nothing much that stands out, a pretty standard Bond film.
Bond is in Siberia to retrieve a microchip from a dead agent (003) before the Russians find it. He escapes skiing then stealing a snowmobile, and after it blows up he uses a piece of it as a snowboard quite acrobatically. He has a girl-agent waiting on a disguised ship so he can pass the time before they land…
Titles: “Roger Moore as Ian Fleming’s James Bond 007”, the title song is by Duran Duran.
Q compares Bond’s chip with their secret one and discovers they’re identical, so “the kgb must have a pipeline into that research company”, the one they used, recently acquired by Zorin industries.
The Minister doesn’t believe it’s Max Zorin himself because he’s “a leading French industrialist, a staunch anti-communist with influential friends in the Government” but of course it’s him, he’s also psychotic.
They all go to the horse race, dressed at maximum and in grey, which is why Moneypenny had such a vaporous pink dress with hat, and Zorin’s horse wins.
Bond will work with sir Tibbet.
Bond meets detective Aubergine in a resteaurant up on the Eiffel tower, but he has no information, nothing is known about Zorin “before he came over from East Germany”. Bond can only learn that there will b Zorin’s “annual sales at his stud near Paris” before Aubergine is killed. Zorin’s friend MayDay killed him, and escapes by going up the tower and then launching with a parachute. Bond tries to follow her by stealing, and destroying a taxi and landing on a boat ruining a wedding: the result apparently is “six million franks in damages and penalties”.
Tibbet and Bond join Zorin’s sale as Mr. St. John Smythe and his valet.Zorin’s place is ridiculous, the servant quarters are as huge as a castle and the stables are even larger. Bond meets dr Carl Mortnere, “Mr Zorin’s breeding consultant”, he says.
Bond and Tibbet discover that Zorin wins every race because Mortner implanted microchips into the horses legs with surgery. They are “programmed to control an injection of additional natural horse steroids” to “overcome fatigue during the race”.
The injection is triggered by a transmitter, probably in the whip or wherever. When security finds out there were “intruders in the warehouse” and Bond is not quick enough to be found in his own room sleeping, he enters MayDay’s room to be found in her bed, ‘waiting for her’, and even if she knows or suspects he was the one chasing her after she killed Aubergine, she doesn’t throw him out but sleeps with him.
Zorin scans his face and discovers his real identity.
Tibbet should go to M for information but is killed. Bond is captured but to ‘kill him’ they put him in Tibbet’s car with him and push it into a lake, so Bond can free himself, breathe whe wheels air until they’re gone and then come out. Well, MayDay pushes the car, she’s apparently very strong.
Zorin was a kgb agent and the Siberian Research Center was part of his operation, but now he doesn’t care to be an agent anymore; Gogol says “no one ever leaves the kgb” but then leaves… Is MayDay’s strength enough to discourage them…?
Mortner’s real name is Hans Glaub, “a German pioneer in the development of steroids”. “DuringWW2 he experimented with steroids on pregnant women in the concentration camps in an attempt to enhance intelligence”. All this information come from Chuck Lee, Cia. “Virtually every mother aborted, although a handful of children were produced with phenomenal IQs, but there was a side effect. They were psychotics”.
See? Told you he was psychotic. And nobody has yet noticed…
He wasn’t tried for his war crimes because the Russians got him and “set him up in a laboratory” developing steroids for athletes, until he disappeared and became Mortner for Zorin.
Zorin is indeed psychotic: he plans to take control of the microchip market by eliminating the Silicon Valley entirely. Project Main Strike; he asks his associates 100 million each for it.
Bond meets Pola Ivanova who is an agent who once already seduced him under orders, and she does it again, and he knows it well. (Of course, he knows that game very well, he does it daily).
She sneaks out to join Gogol but she didn’t get what she wanted. She had recorded Zorin’s plan talking, and Bond listens to it now.
Bond finds Stacey Sutton: Zorin gave her a million dollars check to buy her shares of the oil company that was his dad’s before Zorin took it over “in a rigged proxy fight”. She’s spent a lot of money fighting him in court, and Bond is at her place in time to help her against Zorin’s ‘gorillas’ sent to convince her to accept. She doesn’t. She rips the check: “I’d sell everything and live in a tent before I give up”.
They eat together -Bond cooks her a quiche - and then he sleeps on a chair with her cat. Thanks to her peets, the cat and the “sensitive to seismic activity” bird, Bond learns that there was a minor earthquake and the epicenter was near Zorin’s oil field. She’s a geologist and together they understand that by “pumping seawater into his wells” which “are in the Hayward Fault” could be extremely dangerous because “flooding a fault could cause a major earthquake”.
They go to City Hall to see “how many wells were involved” and see that there’s “an abandoned silver mine” there but then they’re caught by Zorin and MayDay (what are they doing here? Mah)
Zorin’s plan now is to shoot Stacey’s ex-boss using Bond’s gun then pretend they “set fire to the office to conceal the crime” to blame it on him and of course in his plan Bond and Stacey die trapped in the elevator… of course Bond gets out alive saving Stacey too, but finds the police ready to arrest him. Chuck has been killed too so he can’t help.
So Bond escapes driving a fire truck. They go to the ‘abandoned mine’ and find a lot of activity and a lot of explosives.
So if I get it right, Zorin will cause an explosion at the bottom of the lakes to flood the faults and that would cause a huge earthquake, but also at the righttime and place, if both faults momve at once, Silicon Valley would be submerged forever.
When they are seen, Zorin sends MayDay after them. He has a first explosion flood the vault, not caring about her a bit. The men working will die too, and Zorin also has fun shooting them.
Stacey gets out and the lake has no more water.
Zorin and his man Scarpine get out too.. Bond and MayDay try not to drown, and she’s very upset because she really thought he loved her…
In minutes a second explosion will cause “the greatest cataclysm in history” … really? The greatest?
MayDay is really really strong and she help Bond: “get on the rig, I’ll lower you down” so he can reach the detonator and then she brings up both Bond and the detonator together. MayDay sacrifices herself to get the bomb outsie where it won’t cause any damage - other than killing her. Zorin is flying up there and sees her ruining his plan with great shock on his face.
When Bond comes out alive Stacey starts yelling his name so Zorin gets her hostage and Bond grabs a rope.. why is there a rope connected to the plane, so conveniently?
I’m not sure what Zorin wanted to accomplish by getting Bond near the Bridge, but Bond ties his rope to it effectively stopping Zorin’s plane - which looks like the bottom of a plane with the upper part of a dirigible…
Bond kills Zorin and Mortner is very upset about it. He tries shooting Bond and then has the great idea to throw dynamite at him… and of course it falls inside the plane and it blows him up. Like Will E. Coyote, same thing.
“Comrade Bond” receives an Order of Lenin, “first time ever awarded to a non-Sovit citizen”, but Commander Bond is not there to receive it of course. They suspect he might be dead, Moneypenny is already crying, when Q sends his robot-spy inside Stacey’s home and finds him very much alive, in the shower with Stacey - that’s why she survived, they had not slept together yet.
Stacey’s cat bowl reads ‘pussy’ as the cat’s name… they really have an obsession…
Q’s robot is rather cute, in its own way :-)
James Bond is Roger Moore
Max Zorin is Christopher Walken
Stacey Sutton is Tanya Roberts
MayDay is Grace Jones
Tibbett is Patrick MacNee
Scarpine is Patrick Bauchau
Chuck Lee is David Yip
Pola Ivanova is Fiona Fullerton
Q is Desmond Llewelyn
M is Robert Brown
Miss Moneypenny is Lois Maxwell
General Gogol is Walter Gotell
Venz s Dolph Lundgren (lol I didn’t even see him, he was little more than an extra and he’s listed in the credits?
Credits end with “James Bond will return” and no details
ITA bersaglio mobile
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